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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Finding The Lost Passion For Blogging

Hi and Assalamualaikum,

I hate starting off on a post after going on hiatus for months and months long because it takes me ages to figure out how to start and not being cliche about it. For your information, I didn't drop off the face of the earth or lose interest in makeup. In fact, it is quite on the contrary. Let me explain.

About not dropping off the face of the earth, the opposite happened. I now have a legitimate job that requires my whole attention. Which means that I need to stop fantasizing about nonsense and put both of my feet on the ground and focus on my job. Not that I didn't have a job before nor focus on it but it was different then. Different in a sense that my heart was not really 100% in it. I still consider myself not fully immersed in my current job as well but I'm faring well. I'm surrounded by things that I love which is makeup products, lingerie (this was a surprise. I didn't know I love bras so much), my own cubicle, a supportive supervisor, a great team and pretty much your typical happy ending job. I would say, I'm satisfied for now though my eyes are always open for better opportunities out there!

About my interest in makeup, it is still there, steadily burning onto the surface. And as a result from that, I've actually bought quite a diverse range of products and brands recently. More than back when I was still diligently updating this blog on a... weekly basis, kind of. Can you believe that I do bridal makeup now? If you asked me 4 or 5 years ago, I would have shook my head and said a blunt NO. As of now, I find putting makeup on other people, especially for special occasions, therapeutic. It makes me deliriously happy when a bride (with my makeup touch on) looks happy and absolutely radiant on the most important day of her life. It's not about the money, really. For me, it's more about the notion itself. Like being the important person behind the scene, pulling the strings without being seen so that everything flows seamlessly. Here I am, being all philosophical about it!

But that still doesn't explain why I haven't been updating, am I right? The truth is, the main reason I started writing about makeup (or even started writing a blog, really) was because I was upset and needed something to cheer me up. I was terribly frustrated with life in general back in the days, bet you didn't notice that, did you? I'm good at covering things up and pretending things are okay because I'm good at channeling my attention to things that DO cheer me up. When I was a kid, when something upset me, I would lock myself up in my room and read books, all-day-long. Back to blog writing, somehow along the way, it stops being fun and starts feeling like an obligation. I'm still struggling to find the passion back but I'm getting there, slowly.

One more thing, I guess I am in some kind of an internal struggle with myself. Being a copywriter, I've learned to write very few words. Turns out, in advertising, verbosity (wordiness) is not appreciated. You need to be straight to the point and concise. Which is pretty much, the opposite of the real me, really. I enjoy riddles, clever puns and play on words. I love long and complicated words or sentences that look like it means something but actually it is implying something else. A good book gives me an euphoria or some sort of high. When I have a book, life is more bearable, alone. The book becomes my companion. That is how important books and words are to me. Taking it away would mean taking half of my personality away. I dream to write a book someday and get it published.

Before I end this really long stream of emotion, I would like to apologize to the winner of my recent giveaway. I have yet to buy your prize. The giveaway, in itself, was an attempt to gain more followers which didn't happened *laughs. I need to stop doing things for the material aspect of it. With that said, I promise I will get that prize to you as soon as I can (and might put in something really great, to make up for the terrible timing) *winks.

That is all. My heart and soul, the thing at the forefront of my mind.

Sincerely yours,


Alin Meli said...

I'm feeling like i'm reading a diary of an emotional person. Hehehe. Are you okay though? Like, right now?

aisyah Chronicles said...

I am feeling a tad bit emotional.. the format of my blog post right now doesn't allow me to express all my thoughts cz it's really heavy on product reviews. ;( But I'm fine..haha.. don't worry Lin! :D Will probably write more diary entries like this in the future!

Alin Meli said...

Hahaha, just write it down here, i'll be reading them anyway. >,<